


Broken mirrors

by LucjaP



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Comfort/Angst, Declarations Of Love, Depression, Gen, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucjaP/pseuds/LucjaP
Summary: During one of his depressive episodes Loki wonders if someone like him would ever be worthy of you. Will your love be enough to keep him alive?
Relationships: Loki (Marvel) & Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Tom Hiddleston/Loki/Reader
Kudos: 73





	Broken mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> If depression and depression related stuff triggers you, please don’t read this story!
> 
> twhiddlestonsstuff on tumblr asked:  
> Hey!!!!!! Can I ask for prompts 9&24 together...Loki shows the reader his Jötun form, they reach out to him he says prompt 9 and the reader reassures him with prompt 24 please. (Hope that makes sense 😂)  
> 9.“Please don’t touch me! I don’t want to hurt you”  
> 24.“I love you no matter what gender or colour you are or from which planet you came from.” “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”

Loki was standing in front of the mirror that was in his room. He was supposed to accompany you to Tony's birthday party but here he was, blue skin and red eyes, watching his reflection with disgust on his face. He couldn’t understand why you would ever want to be with him. He promised he would talk to you if he was having another depressive episode again but you were so excited to attend this party. He didn’t want you to stay because of him. Since the two of you got together all he has wanted was to make you happy. But would a monster like him ever be able to make you happy?

_ “Nothing but another stolen relic” _

_ “Your birthright was to die” _

Those words were all he could think about at the moment. The sadness and hopelessness he felt only seconds ago turned into anger. Loki looked at himself one more time before shattering the mirror into small pieces. He had no idea when that happened. He can’t remember when his fist decided to crush into it. Seeing his blue hand covered in blood Loki felt empty. He was so caught up in this moment he didn’t even hear when the door opened.

“Loki! I was looking for y-” seeing Loki’s blue face you stopped in your tracks and went completely silent. You then noticed the pieces of, what you assumed, used to be his mirror.

You knew he was a Jotun but you have never seen him in this form before. Loki didn’t have any time to hide as you barged through the door. He had no time to cover his face or change back to his other form. It was too late for that. Not wanting to see as you fled from the room in terror, Loki closed his eyes and held his breath. But that never happened. You didn't scream nor have you called anyone to help you. He never meant for you to see this side of him. This beast he tried so hard to hide from you. And he ruined it all. You have seen it, there is no going back now. He tried to say something but no words would come out of the gods mouth. Will you leave him, now that you know that he’s a monster? Will you ever speak to him again? The trickster didn’t even notice when the tears started pouring out of his eyes. He couldn’t live knowing you hate him. 

“I didn’t mean to barge in like that,” you said softly “I’m sorry if I scared you” he looked at you confused. Why were you apologizing to HIM? Loki was the one who should be begging for forgiveness on his knees.

You knew how hard it was for him to accept his heritage. Wanting to comfort him you put your hand on his shoulder but Loki jumped away from you as if your touch was burning his skin.

“Please don’t touch me! I don’t want to hurt you” he shouted and walked backwards until his back hit the wall. “I-I never meant for you to see me li-like this. I-I’m so sorry”

Your heart broke when you noticed how terrified he was. His red eyes were glassy because of the tears and his hands were shaking. The trickster started to feel dizzy and he couldn’t breathe properly. He hadn’t had a panic attack in a while and this one felt particularly bad. Noticing the sudden change of his body language you quickly figured out what was happening. The god collapsed on the floor and hid his head between his knees. You walked to him and kneeled down. You have seen him having an attack like that and knew what he needed. 

“It’s ok,” you said gently embracing him. He was still too afraid to touch you and stiffened at the contact of your warm body. “I know what you are thinking about and I want you to know that I am not afraid of you. I need you to breathe, ok” he closed his eyes again and nodded rapidly.

It took you some time to calm him down but after a while his breathing went back to normal. You knew how much he loved it when you played with his hair so you started to comb his raven black locks with your fingers. You two stayed like that for a few minutes until Loki spoke again.

“How are you not scared?” he still wouldn’t look you in the eyes but was watching your every move. “I’m a monster! A beast! People on Asgard tell their children how terrible and scary we are! Could you ever want to be with something like me?”

“Loki, I will always want you,” you cupped his face with your hands and made him look at you “I know we haven’t been together for long but I want you to know that I love you, Loki” you confessed, softly caressing his cheeks. “I love you no matter what gender or colour you are or from which planet you came from.” Trickster’s eyes were once again filled with tears but this time there were the tears of happiness. He knew you cared about him but he has never dared to dream about love “You see this?” you asked taking one of his blue hands in yours “You can’t hurt me, Loki. I know you would never do that to me. And believe me when I say that you are no monster.”

“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.” he said and hugged you tightly. “I love you. More than you could ever imagine….” he whispered and the two of you stayed like that for some time, silently crying in each other’s arms. You slowly pulled away and wiped your tears.

“By the way, it really suits you.” you announced with a smile

“What do you mean?” Loki asked confused

“The colour blue,” you said as your index finger was gently tracing the markings on his skin. “it really suits you. Especially since your eyes are red. They are a great combination” he looked at you with love and adoration. 

“I was wondering,” you continued, “do those markings mean something? They are exquisite. And do your eyes somehow help you see better in the dark? Do you have a night vision or something like tha-” you stopped talking when you felt Loki’s lips on yours.

Putting your hands around his neck you deepened the kiss. His hands were softly caressing your back and pulled you as close to his body as physically possible. Although he radiated cold you didn’t mind at all because you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

You didn’t know this at the time but that night you saved his life and gave him hope. With that single confession you made him want to live again...

  
  
  



End file.
